Drink Order May Help Protect Women in Unsafe Dating Situations

A specialty drink order making headlines may help protect women in unsafe dating situations.

Online dating

Photo by: Mike Beales

In a world where many dates begin online, meeting in person can still feel very much like a blind date. Many of these “meet in person” moments take place at bars where the environment is more casual and adding a drink or two helps lower inhibitions. Even in this comfortable setting, things still may go south. Once there, someone may discover the person they are meeting is far different than they expected. Some dates end up looking much different than their profile picture which was taken with a filter. More often things don’t work out due to a matter of personalities clashing. Unfortunately, there are some instances when a date goes wrong, leaving the other party feeling unsafe.

Bartenders looking out for patrons

When a date is just not going well, a person can either politely excuse themselves or wait for their scheduled call from a friend to bail them out. When a date ends up making a person fearful for their safety however, they may need help safely removing themselves from the situation. Several bartenders across the nation and even in the Salt Lake valley are looking out for their female patrons who may be in an uncomfortable or unsafe situation while at the bar. Many bar owners have posted instructions in the women’s restrooms on how to safely get out of a bad date. There are two different methods going around that have both proven to be effective in the bars where the info is posted.

Ask for Angela or an Angel Shot

Some bars have instructions posted informing women on bad dates to ask the bartender for “Angela”. This code word lets the bartender and other bar staff know that the person is in a situation that they feel uncomfortable getting out of on their own. The most popular “bad date exit plan” making the rounds is the Angel Shot. A woman in an unsafe dating situation at the bar simply requests a drink of the bartender. This “help me” drink is called the Angel Shot. How the woman orders this drink lets the bartender know exactly how they can help.

• If the woman wants to be walked to her car, she asks for her Angel shot “neat”.
• If she needs a cab or Uber, she asks for her Angel shot “on the rocks”.
• If she feels the need to involve the police, she asks for her Angel shot “with a lime”.

Staff trained to help

Not all bar staff in Utah are trained in knowing what an Angel shot is or what a patron means when they ask for Angela. Additionally, many perpetrators who would be problem dates have heard of Angel Shots, making the discreet request not so discreet. Fortunately, many bouncers and staff at popular bars are trained to look for problem situations. Prior to setting up a blind date, it might be wise to call ahead to the bar of choice and ask about such training to ensure a date is set in the safest possible setting.

Sexual Assault on College Campus

A former Utah State University frat brother pleaded guilty yesterday to two cases of sexual assault that took place on and near the college campus.

Stealing bases

Photo by: Valeria C★Preisler

Photo by: Valeria C★Preisler

27 year old Jason Brian Relopez was arrested after two women came forward stating that on separate incidents Relopez had sexually forced himself on them. Both women made out with Relopez voluntarily, however he was the only one tolerable with taking things to the next level. One incident happened in 2014 during a private study night while the other happened in 2015 at a frat party at the Sigma Chi House.

Marked for life

Relopez, a former student at Utah State University, pleaded guilty to a plea deal that reduced his charges from aggravated rape and sexual assault to attempted rape and forcible sexual abuse. Although the settled charges don’t save him from a first degree felony, there is a chance he may get probation instead. Either way, he will be on the sex offender registry for the remainder of his life.

No means “no”

When engaging in sexual relations with another person, it is always advised to get verbal consent first. The victim from the 2014 incident did state that she told Relopez she did not want to have sex with him. Regarding the sexual assault that took place at the frat house in 2015 however, the victim never told Relopez “no” but she also did not give him consent to make sexual advances on her. Both instances can be considered sexual assault because in both cases, consent was not given. While a verbal “no” is a clear dispute to consent, not saying anything which could happen due to fear or alcohol or drug abuse, should be considered a negative as well.

Sexual assault at college

Photo by: Miles Gehm

Photo by: Miles Gehm

Sexual assault is a serious issue and college campuses are not immune to the problem. There have been recent statistics that state over 20 percent of young college students have been victims of sexual assault. Although a high number of those sexual assaults on campus are noted to be from serial rapists with malicious intent, there are occasional instances when there could be grave miscommunications that end in charges. College parties where young adults mingle with excess amounts of alcohol are times when things could get out of hand unintentionally. Some ways to avoid such horrific errors are:

• Both parties should be clear on their intentions and observe the other person for hints of hesitation.

• Reduce the amount of alcoholic beverages consumed. When people overdrink, they are less likely to read situations correctly.

• If alcohol is on the menu, have a designated sober friend to attend parties with. The person not drinking can help distinguish if things are getting out of control.

• Keep a drug free party zone. Date rape drugs are given such a nickname due to the fact that it makes the other party unable to give consent, even if they voluntarily take the pill to begin with. On a related note, discard unattended drinks.

• Always get consent. Always.

Sexual offenses without consent

Utah code 76-5-406 states that sexual offenses are “without consent of the victim [if] the victim expresses lack of consent through words or conduct; the actor overcomes the victim through ( . . . ) physical force or violence; the actor is able to overcome the victim through concealment or by the element of surprise; the actor coerces the victim to submit by threatening to retaliate ( . . . ); the actor knows the victim is unconscious, unaware that the act is occurring, or physically unable to resist; ( . . .) the actor intentionally impaired the power of the victim to appraise or control his or her conduct by administering any substance without the victim’s knowledge; ( . . . )”

Time of your life, or away for life

College is supposed to be the time of your life. Sexual assault charges such as rape or forcible sexual abuse can bring mean the rest of your life in jail. For legal aid regarding sexual offense charges, contact a criminal defense attorney.

Strict Probation for Utah Sex Offenders

Sex offenders in Utah are required to abide by a strict probationary program until their name is removed from the sex offender registry.

Ten years to life

Photo by: West Midlands Police

Photo by: West Midlands Police

Regardless of the severity of the offense, those who make the registry of sex offenders can expect to stay on that list for at least ten years. The Utah Department of Corrections states that those persons who are convicted of the following crimes will be on the registry of sex offenders for ten years after they are done with their jail or prison time:

“1. Kidnapping
2. Voyeurism
3. Unlawful Sexual Activity with a Minor
4. Unlawful Sexual Conduct with a 16 or 17 Year Old
5. Forcible Sexual Abuse
6. Incest
7. Lewdness (4 convictions required for registration)
8. Sexual Battery (4 convictions required for registration)
9. Lewdness Involving a Child
10. Aggravated Human Trafficking
11. Custodial Sexual Relations (if victim was under 18 years of age)
12. Sexual Exploitation of a Vulnerable Adult
13. Sexual abuse of a minor
14. Attempting, soliciting, or conspiring to commit any felony offense listed above (or in the “life” list below)”

Those found guilty of any crimes on this subsequent list, or those convicted more than once for any crimes on the above list, will be on the registry for sex offenders for the rest of their lives.

“1. Child Kidnapping
2. Aggravated Kidnapping
3. Enticing a Minor over the Internet
4. Rape
5. Rape of a Child
6. Object Rape
7. Object Rape of a Child
8. Forcible Sodomy
9. Sodomy on a Child
10. Sexual Abuse of a Child or Aggravated Sexual Abuse of a Child
11. Aggravated Sexual Assault
12. Sexual Exploitation of a Minor [child pornography]
13. Aggravated Exploitation of Prostitution”

According to this second list, after their sentencing is over, a person who was caught with child pornography is treated the same as someone convicted of rape of a child. While these two crimes seem hardly comparable to many, why does it matter if their name is registered? What does being on the sex offender registry entail?

More than a list of names

Photo by: micadew

Photo by: micadew

When someone is on the registry of sex offenders in Utah, not only is their name exposed for anyone looking through public records, they also have strict laws that they must follow as long as their name is on the registry, even for a lifetime. These laws include restricting:

Where they live. If sex offenders which to move, they must first get permission. This includes moving residences within the same city.
Where they work. Their choice of employment must also be approved by a parole officer.
Public places they frequent. Those convicted of offenses against minors may not be in any area where children meet. This can include: schools, parks, public pools, and even family get togethers.
Who they have contact with. The most obvious restriction regarding who sex offenders have contact with is the victims and their families. Additionally, those convicted of sexual offenses against children may not have contact with minors under the age of 18. This can include children of significant others.
Even how late at night they are allowed out in public. According to the UDC, when required, “[they] must enter into and successfully complete established progressive curfews, or electronic monitoring where available.”

Some of these restrictions can be altered slightly but only after a parole officer has given written permission.

Life changing

Being registered as a sex offender can dramatically change the way a person lives for the rest of their lives. Just as someone is on probation or parole, everything that sex offenders do and everywhere they go is restricted and documented. In fact, according to the UDC, “sex offenders are supervised even more closely and held to higher standards [than those facing probation and parole for other charges].” For those individuals who are facing charges of sexual offenses that could place them on the registry of sex offenders, contact a criminal defense attorney immediately.